Let’s face it lately my blog posts have been emotional. Not my happiest emotions either. It’s been me trying to detangle the knots in my stomach so I can feel strong again. Writing is therapy and I’ve been using it when I’m feeling unsettled. Today was different. I was in a meeting surrounded by dietitians, nurse practitioners, doctors, clinical psychologists, exercise physiologists, and med students. My mind was lighting up learning about metabolism, psychosocial symptoms, nutrition, and behavior. The information and dynamic of the room was exciting, like being asked to play kickball with the big kids at recess. There was genuine compassion, empathy, and more intelligence in one room than I’ve experienced in a while.
Joy comes to us in ordinary moments we risk missing when we are too busy chasing down the extraordinary ~Brene Brown
I get to be in this environment all next year and I couldn’t help but feel like dots were starting to connect. This type of cross-professional environment is the holistic experience I came back to school for. I went straight to a coffee shop after the meeting and found myself researching medical terms and conditions I was rusty on and I started to recognize a familiar sense of purpose that has been dormant this summer. Getting this internship was a long shot, they have never had a social worker in the clinic, and they weren’t sure they had to capacity to meet my program’s expectations. I was discouraged; I thought why would anyone put in all the extra effort when they already take lots of med students and clinical psychology students? I underestimated the people there and their compassion for teaching. They have done a lot of work to allow me to have this experience and I’m already learning lessons about the way it feels to be invested in.
May your choices reflect your hopes not your fears ~Nelson Mandela
The rest of the day carried along the same path, my financial aid was processed without problems, I finally got myself back onto my bike, and I managed to clean my entire apartment while listening to Elizabeth Gilbert’s new podcast “Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert”. I know, these are silly little things but they add up. It’s climbing just a little bit higher even when I can’t see the top. The sum of a confident and content feeling is something I don’t talk about enough in my posts. I write when my emotions have been stirred and shaken but I think there’s something important in the calmness.
It’s recognizing the seemingly mundane things that bring us joy, the habits that breed simple pleasure, and self-acceptance. It’s important to clean up messes but it’s also important to sit back and enjoy when the bed is made and the dishes are put away for the moment.